Public Service Announcement: Ticket Scalpers, You Are the Worst Kind of Human Being

ticket scalpers

We have all been there. Your favorite band is coming into town, and tickets go on sale at 9:00 AM on Friday morning. You are at your computer at 8:45 AM, just for good measure. Ticketmaster.com is most likely, and most unfortunately, the place of purchase. At 8:55 AM you begin to refresh the webpage, just to make sure the ticket status has not been changed a few minutes early. At 8:56, you refresh again. 8:57, refresh, nothing. 8:58, refresh, still no change. Now is when it gets real: 8:59 AM. For the next 60 seconds, it is a go time! Refresh, load, nothing. Refresh, load, nothing. Refresh, load, nothing. Only 20 seconds have gone by since the clock struck 8:59, but it has felt like 2 hours. The process continues as your now sweaty palms begin to drip onto the keyboard and your heart palpitates wildly.

Finally, the time has come. You click that refresh icon, and something happens. The load wheel is spinning, the page is taking longer to load, and the clock now reads 9:00 AM. “This is it!”, you think to yourself. Your heart begins to race even faster. Spots begin to blur your vision as the excitement of seeing your favorite band for the first time becomes real. Your imagination runs wild with the thought of where your seats will be. “Surely I have to be in the front few rows,” you think to yourself. And why wouldn’t you be? You were there the moment the tickets went on sale! Not only are you proud of yourself, but the friend that you are also buying a ticket for is about to view you as a true hero. The page finally loads. The last five minutes have felt like five years, and all the life’s work you have put into those last “five years” begins to culminate as the text of the page slowly populates your screen. You try to calm yourself. You clear your vision to read the results of this stressful, laboring effort and here it is… “Sold Out!”
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Public Service Announcement: Your Heckles Aren’t That Clever

Statler and Waldorf

We started a new series of public service announcements last week for do’s and don’ts in concert-going, and we opened up with our biggest concert-going sin: the crowd surf.

To continue in my curmudgeonly ways, I want to denounce the artist heckle today. Yes, I realize I’m speaking to a largely inebriated group of people here, but more and more, I’m finding people say dumber and dumber stuff at shows. I’ve even seen heckling create sort of a strange and hostile atmosphere, especially when hecklers interrupt the actual music. I saw St. Vincent at the Riviera Theater earlier this year, and while people heckled throughout the set, it hit a weird breaking point when she played the very quiet “The Party” in her encore, and the audience got ugly as a few idiots were drowning out the music with their “clever” heckles. You also see artists like the Avett Brothers completely unplug for truly acoustic encores, and these are often soiled by this lousy audience behavior.

I have heard some very odd and amusing heckles lately. I recently heard someone shout “Incredibly talented” which was really weird and sincere, and “very enjoyable” which was just flat-out hilarious. I’m not saying the occasional heckle isn’t just perfect, but these are so few and far between it’s not worth it.

(say what you want about Kanye, but this is how hecklers should be dealt with)

While heckling certainly is a way bigger issue in the comedy world, it undoubtedly leaks into live music since there are drunken idiots everywhere. So to you folks think you just thought up some clever nugget to shout at a show, just hold it in. Don’t pollute the show.

 

 

St. Louis Cardinals Walk-Up Music: Year End Review 2013

 

I have been to more Cardinals games this summer than any summer since 2008; probably 15+, but no way of really knowing.  Capping it all off, I was able to see games this past Friday and Saturday as the birds launched themselves into first place.  I even had the coveted “green” seats on Friday for the first time in a few years.  Getting to see John Axford get booted from the game from about sixty feet away was priceless.

Nearing the end of what looks to be a very successful season, I thought it was about time to weigh in the Cardinals choices for the music that plays when they walk up to bat.  I looked at seven of the more interesting choices last year, so I’ll do you one better and give you eight this year.  As a quick disclaimer, some players do not use the same song for an entire year, and sometimes the walk-up music will change from game to game.  And since I can’t find a great authority for all the iterations players use, I just cherry pick the ones I actually want to write about.  Enjoy.

Jon Jay:  “Public Service Announcement” – Jay-Z

jon jay

Dopey-ass Jon Jay ditched last year’s jam, “Mercy”, for this Black Album Jay-Z track.  It certainly isn’t the most appropriate song for Jay, but has a quick-hitting walk-up song, it works quite well.  Perfect for the atmosphere at Busch, and even better with a couple men on base.  I don’t know what song would be completely appropriate for Jay, but at least this is an improvement.

Song Grade: A+
Appropriateness Grade: C+

Continue reading “St. Louis Cardinals Walk-Up Music: Year End Review 2013”